Tuesday 31 May 2011

Ni Kuhama, Baby!

I've been so lost! Life took over. Life is good, thank Ngai.

Bado niko na Safaricom, thanks to M-Pesa. Safaricom-Airtel is not the kuhama I'm talking about.

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm now living in Nairobi. Sort of. I actually live in a county in Central Province, but if I can take a matatu to the city centre for between Ksh 40-60, I can call myself a Nairobian, right? Some people actually live in the Rift Valley Province (Kitengela et al) and call themselves Nairobians, too, so I can get away with my living-in-Nairobi claim.

Anyway, I will be back with details baadaye, in the coming month(s). Hopefully with more great news on top of what I already plan to share. In the meantime, I will keep you up with some storos from .KE and/or .UG. If I get the time :-)

Cheers,

Masa wa Nairobi.

Friday 18 February 2011

Ruracio

Our office was closed Thursday and Friday to allow people to travel to travel if need be, and practice their democratic right to vote. I came to be with The Man. If you ask me, I think or rather feel like the process will be peaceful, and M7 will win. Or ‘win’. In keeping with my decision not to do politics, I won’t elaborate. Of late though, I’ve felt like putting in my two cents regarding local politics, the broke gova that used USD 350m for the campaign, and the Uganda shilling that has depreciated more than 45% against the dollar since I’ve been here. Because? I pay taxes; 30% PAYE, 18% VAT on every item I buy in supermarkets (which is already about 15% more expensive that it would be in a Nairobi/Kenyan supermarket), and UGX 100,000 each year in infrastructure tax- the potholes in my hood were filled with soil and a thin layer of tarmac in the recent months. The National Social Security Fund requires that I contribute 5% of my gross salo to the fund, though to their credit, my employer matches that with 10% of my gross. So the rate of return on my savings is encouraging. I just hope won’t NSSF have gone burst by the time I leave or need the money.

Most of my Kenyan friends are either out of UG or have bought food to last them a couple weeks, ensured there is enough cooking gas, water, the cars tanks are full and generally done the kind of things you would have done if you were in Nairobi or some parts of Kenya in early 2008. I can’t blame us. I however think the dynamics are different in UG compared to Kenya in the sense that the two main contenders are from the same region, or largely, community though one is more liked by the Buganda Kingdom constituents than the other. Said Kingdom has 3 candidates in the race.
This was not meant to be a siasa post, as is the blog. In my personal life, things are going well. Last week I went to have my ruracio (that’s dowry) event dress made.

The ruracio is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I just finished informing my close cousins. It’s not a huge event since this is only the first, and sometimes it takes decades before you truly belong to the other family through an event (for lack of a better term) called ‘gutinia kiande’. Nothing has changed regarding the wedding. We are going to have a traditional marriage and then a civil deal to make sure we are both on equal standing regarding our rights in the marriage in the eyes of the state. The Man still thinks we should have a church wedding down the line, but as far as I am concerned, either the Christian and Civil marriage offer me the same rights, so there is no need for the other if one has taken place. At the same time, The Man thinks it is important to have a church wedding when we have the budget. In which case then, I feel like we should just let it remain a customary marriage till we have the church event. My parents are busy doing what they need to do to ensure that The Man marries me in proper Kikuyu customs. I’m excited about it. I was considering asking my mother to tell my father to ask the men who will be negotiating on behalf of our family to not have any fancy ideas of ripping of The Man and his family. But then my friends think if I chose the traditional route, I may as well go all the way and let things take their natural path. I even asked the man if it’s a good idea and he thought otherwise. He should know- as the only male child in his family, he has taken an important role in selling off a few of his sisters. This year has a lot of good things in store for us.

The dress: I went with a Kinyankore design. Why? Because the Kikuyu dresses I’ve seen don’t look appealing to me. I could have had the brown dress with beads and shells that I think of as the Kikuyu cultural dress, or a Maasai design in recognition of the fact that my grandmother came from there, but I didn’t have the time to get that done when I was home (Yes, even me, I have Maasai blood!). I also happen to like how Banyankore women look on their Kuhingira (the traditional marriage rite, they call it the give-away ceremony in English), with the beads on the head, cute earrings, and beaded gloves, and I decided to go with the look. Interestingly, the material I chose is closer to the Indian sari than anything. If anything, is there cloth that we can call Kikuyu or even African wear? In my opinion, no, just the style. When the tailor lady was taking my measurements, she was talking to me in Runyankore, because my colleague who took me there is Munyankore. She looked really good on her Kuhingira event, so I requested her to take me to her fundi. The fundi later learned that I’m Kenyan and Kikuyu and was asking me what our traditional dress is. I told her we don’t have one. When she asked what my ancestors used to wear, I told her animal skins. She laughed. In the small talk that ensued, she asked how many maids I will have for the event and when I said none, just two of my close friends and relatives, she looked astonished-because there was another lady whose Kuhingira attire she is making, who has 12 maids for the Kuhingira alone. Which will be followed by a church wedding with a different set of maids. I feel like most people in Uganda have two weddings-the traditional one, and the church one, sometimes held in consecutive days. Or maybe two large events. Which kinda explains all the mass text messages in November and December from friends and strangers alike: so-and-so invites you to her wedding/kwanjula/kuhingira meeting taking place on…….Last year I got one of those from a guy who helped move house with his truck when he was having his introduction ceremony in Busoga (community that lives between Bugisu in the East and Buganda in Central Uganda, around Jinja, just before you cross the Nile into Buganda). I think he sent the texts to everyone on his phonebook. I kinda just ignored them, but we later bumped into each other in a restaurant in Jinja, where he handed me my invitation letter and the budget. I asked a Muganda fiend why they have two large events, and he explained that usually, the church even is more inclusive when it comes to the grooms side.

That’s it for now. I need to be at work on Monday, but I’m thinking of chilling and watching for people’s reaction when results are announced on Sunday.

Friday 07 January 2011

Salamu za Mwaka Mpya na Updates

The year is still effectively new for me since I haven't blogged since October 2010 so pokeeni salamu za mwaka mpya from huku kwa PKW . I've been contemplating closing this blog or making a quiet exit since now my life involves other people, and I'm not sure I can write about them the same way I write about me. I can't be an 'issues' blogger so it's either me and my life, or nothing. There are still interesting things to say, so hopefully I will be around much longer. I feel too 'young' to retire, though other bloggers, some who started blogging as recently as last year, have chosen to 'retire' their blogs. I think in blog-speak, retiring a blog is a nice way of saying you have quit, like the politicians 'stepping aside' all over the place. But the advantage of being a politician is (I think?) you keep collecting a full paycheck from that place called aside where you step. Sorta like being at advanced stage in Monopoly the game, and getting a 'go to jail' card that allows you to stay in jail, therefore not pay any rent, and collect rent on all your properties. Not a bad place to be at that point, eh?

The rest of 2010-since I blogged, that is- went well for me, and so were the holidays. They were very, very good. I got to spend time with the almost everyone in Man's family (that I hadn't met earlier) and thought they are awesome. For some reason I earlier thought that being the only male child among five siblings meant I wouldn't be as welcome by the rest; I was wrong. He also spent some short time with mine and we both thought it went well.

I don't do new year resolutions because for me the new year is just a way of marking time, with nothing markedly different from the previous day/year. Except maybe the mood and an excuse to indulge, slaughter another animal and such. My goals are all over the place in terms of when they are set. Some things I purpose on when I get an idea, or when something happens in this life of mine or another's life. Some start at my birthday. I remember purposing sometime towards the end of last year to have an attitude of gratitude, and to be nice to people. I'm not some mean woman, but I also want to be purposefully nice. On two occasions last year I told some two people off. One was apologetic for upsetting me, and the other relationship has remained hivi hivi since. I don't feel guilty because I felt I had a 'right' to be mad, and it's nice when this person doesn't get me down with their negative comments/opinions all the time any more.

My decision to be nice got a test on New Years day, and it (not it is 'it' not 'I' :-) kinda failed so am glad it wasn't a New Year's resolution. The Man and I could not get a Mololine or Prestige shuttle maatu from Nakuru to Nairobi late in the evening on Jan 1st, yet we absolutely had to travel since we again had to travel back to our respective places of work from Nairobi the following day. So we decided to use the regular Moloine matatus. But the place was parked with people and no matatu in sight. One came by and people struggled to get inside, and I imagined they had purchased their tickets earlier. The Man went to get our tickets, but the attendants were not selling any, or saying anything. So we decide he goes and checks out akina 2NK matatus and others, while I waited at Mololine in case another matatu came, when I could then force my way in and hold a seat for him. Then this mama decides to ask me a few questions about Mololine, and initially I respond nicely. Like this: Woman:"So there are no tickets?" PKW, "I think so, we couldn't get some either" Woman, "You get one and wait for a matatu?" PKW, "Usually that's what they do during peak time like today, but it seems they are not offering any today" Woman, "So the matatus are all gone?" PKW, "I don't know, I don't work here". Oh well.

Besides being nice, I want be real with people more often, instead of say, diplomatically lying to them when I want to say something that's not too agreeable or nice to their ears. I'm not sure how being real and being nice will mix in some situations, but mix they will have to. Take for instance this friend of mine with whom I used to make plans with, but who never followed any of the plans up with, or at least tell me in advance that she wouldn't be there. Only when I later saw her the following week and ask would she explain what happened/ why she couldn't make it. This person has the audacity to think she could call on me one day to do her a favor pap!. She calls me out of the blues after ignoring several of SMSs, facebook messages etc, and tells me to do her a favour that involves staying up past midnight. I think "No way", but then I have the burden of finding out a way to precisely that, including lying, and that's what I do in the end. I hate feeling used, and usually don't let people do that to me. Then there is a mama that I hosted for a few days to a week when she was here shopping for merchandise to go and sell in Kenya. Juzi she calls me and indicates that she wants me to go shopping for her (have you been near Owino market?) and send stuff on the bus. Clearly, there's no lying around this one; I'll just tell her I can't, but she's welcome to stay at my place again as long as she needs to.

What else- I still don't have a car but I think I should be getting one maybe by early Feb or later, pending something I am waiting on. The funniest thing is that I remember telling a friend 10 years ago that I'd get a car in 10 years. Because back then it looked impossible, so I gave myself what I thought was reasonable time. I wonder what would have happened if I said I'd get one in a year's time? Banange, they used to tell us to watch what we say because it happens, and this the second instance it's happening for me.

As for this year, within the bigger picture, there are two specific things that are close to my heart that I really am praying to God (besides doing my/our bit, that is. Prayer is the least you can do!) that they work out ASAP, though logically, one is not even supposed to work out till later in the year, like after August, but it needs to work out even sooner, like today. I trust that they, among the other things, will work out fine. But if they don't, I will be grateful for the situations as they are now, knowing full well that I prayed for them to be this way. It's all about gratitude, remember? Still, it's funny how yesterday's answered prayer is today's situation that needs prayer. Guess it's meant to be that way, otherwise, how are we meant to mark progress?

There's a lot of exciting things in store for me this year, and for that I'm very grateful. I wish you my readers the very best for this year and beyond. May God, if you believe in Him/Her/It smile on you. I think there's a big 'movement' out there that believes the Universe is the one that does stuff so if that's your chosen path to the higher powers, may you get the best that the Universe has to offer. No offense but personally I think the Universe was created and is at the mercy of the creator (and we humans), who in English is known as God and by many other names in different languages, religions and faiths. As for you who believe in no outer powers, work hard, be strong and trust that things will work out just as you want them to ( I do, too!).

Nawatakia mwaka mpya uliojawa na heri na fanaka.

PS: Maua, I saw the tag, but gosh, don't I hate tags? Besides the hot scrap award where I talked about myself, I really don't want to talk about myself any more than you will read here. Sio kwa ubaya lakini, tumeelewana?

Thursday 28 October 2010

FATTY ISSUE

I have a confession to make, and it may leave you slightly disgusted. Read on, if you have the guts. I will be kind of rumbling. It’s about ‘fatties’.

Some background: my sister and I were talking on the phone last week and as usual I asked her about ‘my daughter’ i.e. my niece. After the regular updates, she told me that I seem to have given my niece the idea that fat people are not good-looking. I was a little surprised, even shocked. I actually have no idea when I ever did this. I guess I may have talked about how I don’t want to gain weight in her presence and all, having gained 4-5 kgs (and probably growing-matooke on the regular, but more importantly an increased intake of sausage and milk) since landing here about 2 years ago. Some of the weight gain for good reason. And it’s not like I mind it that much, though I won’t lie and say I would want it to go unchecked. I think some of her ‘learning’ may have come from hearing me and my mum comment about weight, me saying I don’t want to be ‘fat’. To which my mum’s (and sister’s) response is almost always ,”wi mukiigu muno!” (you’re very stupid!). Maybe it even stemmed from some comment I made while watching some sports updates at some point and commented on the sports-reporters size and how it was ‘inappropriate’ for his profession. Like, a sports-reporter should look ‘sporty’, not fat. I don’t know. But am surprised that a 5-year old is able to listen to odd statements and come to a conclusion. And start making comments which would be considered offensive when she sees ‘fat’ people. Fat people, in my opinion, are not even that common in Kenya, our main problem being, well, food security. Except maybe in middle-class urban people who I understand are starting to be affected by ‘lifestyle diseases’.

Recently there was an article on Marie Claire where the writer expressed disgust for ‘fatties’ . The article resulted in an uproar on the internet, with people writing tens of thousands of emails to Marie Claire, some calling for the author's firing. I found this paragraph particularly disturbing: “So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.” I thought it was a little harsh, even misplaced given the fact that I think majority of women in America are large. And that’s self-desribed “...publication that women turn to for information on fashion, style, beauty, women's issues, careers, health...”. Way to inform the women, eh?

The article got me thinking about my own weight biases. While maybe 4-5 years ago I would rarely notice, let alone care that someone was overweight, perhaps due to my rural upbringing, something seems to have happened, and I kinda notice, though I don’t dwell much on it and have never commented on someone’s weight to them or to someone else. I’ve mentioned my own weight gain on twitter, facebook and blogger often. So much so that when Kellie and I met me in September, she said that she was expecting to see a ‘larger person’. I must have been exaggerating. I think any large person or one who has been or is concerned about their own weight would consider it mockery to talk about my weight often, considering that I’m 55kgs, well close to 56 now. So what am I thinking? That I don’t know what it means to struggle with weight I shouldn’t be too judgemental. The term 'Eating Disorders' is something I learned in my Physical Education class in campus, and I must confess I found all the eating disorders ‘funny’ at the time. As in how you refuse to eat? Eat, then puke???. That it’s easy to blame fat people for their weight issues, or even make it sound like there’s a quick fix to weight matters, like diet and exercise. Especialy when I have never tried the former and can’t myself be disciplined enough to practice the latter regularly (remember my skipping rope? It’s been unused for like 2 months, and I haven’t ran/exercised much in as in as long a time). More importantly, that weight is itself a ‘diversity’ matter much like sex/gender/sexual orientation, race, religion tribe, age, name them. And of course, my favourite, marital status. Am learning that you can be as sizist as any other bigot can be tribalist, racist, agist, and in my opinion, maritalist. How, for instance, would you feel if someone said that they find it disgusting to watch people with too much melanin (black people) walk across a room or a street, or do anything at all? Or two a Luhya and a Kamba? Trust me, we would be having a different discussion, possibly with a lawsuit to boot (in America that is!)

Much as I believe that it is within my power to be slimmer if I want to be, I know it’s not the same for many other people. I once had a room-mate who was kind of large, and believe you me, I ate more than she did. She had been above-average size-wise since she was young. I think also that ‘thin’, single, non-parent people should always consider the possibility of having larger kids and think how they would treat them.

What’s your take on this weighty issue? Will you complain next time you are on a 12-hour busride next to someone taking like a third of your space?

I found some fat people out there with blogs that I found interesting. I didn’t even know you could be wrecking mental havoc on someone by regularly talking about your diet. There’s Unapologetically Fat, The Rotund, and Fatties United! Fatties United! tend to bring a bit of humour in their take on fat, like this blog post here. Take a read.

That said, fat people should also be sensitive when talking weight with thin people. It's rude to indicate that someone has an eating disorder simply because they are thin.

Sunday 03 October 2010

This and That, Mostly Biashara Nyeti

I haven't been to Church in a while but today I caught Rauka on TV. I think it was an OK, TV-friendly sermon. I kinda felt that as much as I believe what the pastor said, anyone could say that, work up a crowd like that, no? Am finding that I want stuff that I can relate to or that is specific, not a 'cookie cutter' sermon. Plus, I don't understand why you need a mini-sermon before people give their offering, and then repeat the same thing in a subtle way in the main sermon. If anything, the Bible says! Give what you have decided in your heart, but not under coercion...or something like that. I'll look for the verse. Overall, if you have the charisma and patience, I think a church is not a bad investment in the long term-just avoid scandals.


Jana we had stuff to attend to on Entebbe road, got a ride there with a friend, then me and the other friend took a matatu (aka taxi) back to town, getting off near the Old Taxi Park. Said friend was going back to work and so I said "Sawa, bye. Am going to look for hair". After the 'shocked' look on his face cleared, I explained that I was indeed going to look for a weave. He said some stuff about women and hair..... his wife/girlfriend is rocking a reddish-hair weave, so am sure he knows these things. Anyway! I walked into Mukwano Arcade and asked for an Afro-looking weave and settled on one that was 100% human hair-apparently. While we were negotiating, an older woman came by and said she wanted the same. Turned out that was the only one available, and out of 'respect', they attendant decided to sell it to "our mummy" while I waited for mine from the next shop. I was pissed and told the attendant as much when the lady had left. That was discrimation right there, though I didn't say as much. Do you know that I've once been at an interrview where one person in the panel asked me about my marital status, because it would help them in their renumeration decision? Anyway (never mind how many times I say Anyway, it's a Kenyan English adjunct) by 5pm, I'd come back to my hood and the 100% human hair fixed on my head. For the second time in my life I had a weave on. Only that I thought I looked like Kajairo's twin, so today am removing it.


Of late if you've been reading/watching news, seems people have given the East African Community idea a whole new meaning. What with this business of stealing kids from TZ and bringing them to Kampala, for whatever reasons? That was in The East African newspaper a few weeks ago. And the couple that was putting disabled Tanzanian kids on the streets of Nairobi at dusk to beg the whole day and bring back the loot late at night? What about the other jamaa who I guess got an order for albino bones in TZ but instead got a live specimen, so decided to befriend an albino guy, and take him to TZ by bus? The killer story is the one involving (Kikuyu, who else, ha!) men caught on tape selling private parts out of a mortuary in Nairobi. Hearing them on the phone, you'd think it was some legit business going on. "Ya mwanamume au mwanamke-male or female? Anotoa pesa ngapi-how much is the buyer offering?". What if that was your hubby and you saw him on TV like that? Well, I guess that would explain why of late your standards of living had improved, eh? What ever happened to people dressing their own loved one's bodies before burial. Seems these days everyone just gives money to get everything done. I know, I've been involved in one funeral this year. That's great, if only you are not burying your loved ones bila private parts, maybe even bila some clothes. Anyway, I guess some people- or their consciences at the least- died a long time ago but they are still walking on this side of the grave.


There are also the 'genuine' stuff that is marketed in dubious ways. Like the Yvonne Chaka Chaka commercial with Lifebouy. Ati it's a 100% proven to reduce cases of illness, yeah? Complete with a coughing kid who I presume will stop coughing once he bathes with Lifebouy. Splash juice also has a way with that 100%. When you see the 100% from a distance, you think it's a 100% fruit juice, but on closer look, it's 100% Aseptically Packed. Excuse me as I go buy my 100% fruit. Sensodyne has a fully dressed dentist that let's you know that dealing with sensitive teeth is a as easy as using Sensodyne. Halafu Pampers is recommended by the Kenya Paediatric Association. Nivea has a way of getting at women. In one particular case in a Supermarket, they had ka-signpost showing the isles where to get all the stuff you need for soft, glowing, cellulite-free skin; fresh fruits and vegetables, whole cereals and yes, Nivea! Me, I take these claims with a pinch of Royco Mchuzi Mix.

Wacha I go buy me some to make me 'the tastiest githeri ever!'. Have a lovely Sunday, people.

PS: 'Biashara nyeti' does not mean 'private business', the same way 'sehemu nyeti' means 'private parts'. It's more like 'controversial business', like 'swala nyeti' means 'controversial issue'

Wednesday 15 September 2010

No Wedding, Most Likely

First off, am wondering how much I can keep PKW the Blog alive now that am not anonymous. This has been my space to chronicle stuff as it happens and as I see it, but since coming out, am not sure what direction this blogging thing will take. Like this girl here, I feel like starting over at another discreet space, but my style would remain the same and I guess you'd have me figured not too far into the blogging. I really want to keep blogging stuff as it happens and as I interpret it without the need to make it spicier, juicier, duller or anything faker than I take it. By the way The Man doesn't know about this space either, and I wouldn't want him to find out from someone else, now that I'm meeting other bloggers and tweeps. Seriously, how many of you out there have managed to keep it real after coming out? Assuming that no one knew about your blogging ways, anyway. These days, with technology, you never know! How well are you able to manage the curtain between your virtual life and your real life?


Moving on to the topic at hand. Yeah I know your remember this,eh? And Well, there's been lot's of situations like this one here. Not the riots, but when we just can't be together. Since the end of last year, it's been Kisumu, not Kigali. Same distance nevertheless. We couldn't even be together on Valentine's day, and I at that point called it quits, as you well know. We've worked out a lot of the stuff with me being more understanding when he can't make it, and him planning better. It's been a while since he called me on a Friday night to inform me that he's not coming the following day, but the last time he called on a Wednesday, I was unhappy but didn't throw a tantrum. I also appreciate that he's been understanding when I'm on the wrong, and has forgiven me the times I've wronged him. Which are few and far apart :-) I'm perfect like that!

Fast forward, we are talking meeting the parents in less than a month. We were meant to do it earlier but I wasn't so sure. And then later, logistically, it was not possible. Now in my part of the global village, once you meet the parents, you are past dating and are set to marry, which explains why I was a little hesitant initially. I admit I have met another set of parents for a few days over Christmas, but that was in a different cultural setting, and it doesn't get interpreted the same way it does in my village. So yeah, we are talking marriage,saving and investing together, and babies. I want three, he wants one, a boy. Basically all the things that married people (are supposed to) do together.Including in-laws; I want to live with my mum at some point in the future.

The question here is the wedding. On a regular day, I normally think this wedding thing is an over-rated, foreign concept, and am happy to exchange cows in place of vows. I don't remember having a dream wedding in my mind. Ever. The only thing I remember is injuring my wedding ring finger once while picking tea during holiday from secondary school and being grateful that at least it was on the right hand, just in case the scar remained. I have never really desired to have a wedding.

But now. The more I think about it, the more I want one. I even have a unique, designer wedding gown (si tailors are designers, ala!) in my head. No, really. The grooms men and brides maids are all matching in red, African yet modern outfit. The flowers are red roses. You guessed it, the theme is reddish. And I have a Maasai-beaded tiara.

Here's the downer to this grand dream of mine. The man doesn't want a wedding, or, wants one much later. His sister, who has been married for over 10 years, is having her wedding in November. I think she is his role model. I also know other couples who have done the traditional thing or signed a certificate and had a wedding later (like when the kids are in college, and am not talking about the 25th anniversary here!). Honestly, I don't get the rationale. My other argument is that at the rate I'm 'growing',and possibly after popping out two babies, I will not look as good on a later wedding date in a few years.


The biggest reason I want a wedding is so I can partake in my desire to savor, and celebrate each step and season in this my life. Reason behind that? I have lost a number relatives, G among them, and close to 3 dozen neighbours in the past 2 calendar years, and missed out on an extended family gathering, which happens only once a year, and has been delayed/canceled because of the funerals this year. I feel its about time my family, neighbours and friends met at a happy occasion. I also have these friends who are like family overseas, and it would be super good to be together again. I'm sure the lady friend would shed a tear or two-she's cries at happy occasions.

I have a friend who also tells me that I better have my way now, otherwise nikiolewa, it's submission to no end (haki ya nani, siamini hiyo!)

The thing is this, we don't have the money for the (big) wedding right now. We will have saved some for the same purpose by the time the proposed dates come up, and can have a small one, but the man does not want a small wedding. It's a big wedding or no wedding.He's kinda traditional like that; invite his and my extended families, his two and my two villages, our common (from college) and separate friends, and colleagues. Before I knew it, the list was +300 close family and friends.

You already know that I do not believe -the right phrase here is 'I hate it when...'- it's right to ask people to foot your wedding bill as is so common in our society, and The Man agrees so that's not even an option for either of us to fall back on.

My idea of a small wedding was thus: PKW and The Man dressed up, trip to Church or the registrar of marriages with our immediate family (20 people max!), the people who are 'standing for the wedding' (4) and a small reception thereafter. Could even be on a weekday. But the man? His quiet demeanor aside, I think he must be plotting to be a politician someday. Otherwise, good people tell me, why else would anyone want to please two provinces and the Nairobi Area on a very personal occasion?

Obviously, I alone want so many things right now, car included, and he too wants many things. Most importantly, in many ways, we are just starting to lay a financial foundation for the future, and we are already in our 30s. Even the Ksh 150K we will have saved by early March or late April can be put to different use-I can't bring myself to say 'better use' because a wedding is good use already!

Not really an option on my part, but it seems likely there will be no wedding. Final discussions will be held this coming weekend, insha Allah.

Monday 23 August 2010

Coming out at UBHH

I went to the last Uganda Bloggers Happy Hour (UBHH) and plan on going to the next one this Thursday. I think it should actually be remaned UBTHH to include the folk on twitter who never blog but don't shy away from UBHH.

As a result of my going, my blogging has been and will be greatly affected as I am no longer anonymous. I wasn't planning on being anonymous much longer anyway; I've been meaning to attend one mauano session in Nai, if they still happen.

See, my blog has always been about the people and events in my life, or so I would like to think. I don't have a theme that I write about. Hence I find this person mildly insulting who said that great mind discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and little minds discuss people; or something to that effect. You will be saddened to know that I've always fought long and hard to not blog about people; my friends, my family, my colleagues, my close enemies. So far, on many occassions, I have succeeded, but evidence points to the fact that I have a little mind. And blog. Right now I feel an urge to go back and edit any bad things I've written about people, dead or alive, so I can rise above the little mind level.

UBHH was fun. I met @Normzo who blogs here, Sleek, Jny23Ug (who I'd met way back in Feb), @HellenNyana, AntiPop, Baz, @MarkBulamu and many others. No offence, for those whose names I don't remember, or anyone who I claim to have met but did not. I was actually sick and on antimalarials, hence my quick exit to go and puke after just the first bottle. Thanks, @MarkBulamu, next time I'll take as many bottles of Smirnoff Ice as you can buy, though I realize I am not what I drink and may need to change alcohol preferences. Seriously, beer is bitter! You may be happy to know that I am considering quitting drinking alcohol once and for all. Or maybe just stick to the occassional glass of red wine.

Related: Archer Mishale is probably the most popular Kenyan blogger among the UG bloggers. One @Kenyansista was challenged to make her Uganda trip more than just an idea. That's all I can remember guys, sorry. On Thursday, (if I make it!) I won't be sick so hopefully I'll have more to report on. Happy week good people.

Unrelated: I'm wondering how I can get a day off on Friday, now that kidogo naanza kujivunia kuwa Mkenya. Call me a spoiler, naye, I think as Kenyans celebrate the promul....prowhatever of the new constitution they shouldn't forget the excitement following the 2002 elections and how, while there has been growth, it was not instant. Thing is, Kenya's is a developing country in every sense of the word, and politics, well, to me it's like a wind, which often changes direction, and we don't know which direction it will blow next time. Realistic optimism, that's how I live my life. Try it.