54 @ 32

Good morning from my bed! It's 6:17 am on my birthday. I haven't been able to sleep well in the past week or so; I've been having a mild case of malaria. So even when I try sleeping close to midnight, my eyes are wide open at 3am or thereabouts, and I want to sleep at 6am. Yikes.

Today is my thirty twoth birthday. I'll be 32 at mid-day, that's when I was told I was born at the Rift Valley General Hospital in Nakuru. I've improved on the goal I had on my last birthday of being tidier with a bit of paid help once in a while, though I still need to find what I'm wearing today and iron it. Thankfully, Umeme has been very reliable. And we are allowed to be casual at work (we also do a lot of work outside) so if there's no umeme and I need to go, jeans and a jacket suffice.

What else, I have gained 2 or 3kgs over the past year. The last time I went to the doc, I weighed in at 54 kgs. I've never needed to exercise with the goal of losing weight since I've always been between 48kgs and 55kgs tangu I was a teen, the latter being my last two years of secondary school and the following year. I don't mind the weight, since am now growing back my trunk, but am worried about the weight gain, wondering if my metabolism has slowed down as it apparently does in your thirties. It would be awesome to grow the behind if it didn't come with a ring around the waist. My favourite jeans now make me look like a cup cake, so that I have wear them with a long shirt. I haven't had the discipline to exercise regularly. I bought a skipping rope last year and one week I'll skip 500 times a night for three nights, then go for weeks or months without it. Same for running in the hood. One week am up and running early, then everything goes back to me sleeping up to seven or seven-fifteen and not once exercising. I really want to get a car this year, so I think I have no option because the walk to or from the matatu stage will be eliminated. I don't want to pay for gym since it's a little pricey near where I live, though I think it might help since am a little frugal and would hate to feel like I am wasting money. Or, I could pay by the day and go three days a week, if I can keep it up :(

My guka died last week. I think he was in his mid-90s. Not a very good man when his family was young. I think 'domestic terrorist' would not have been a bad description at that time, based on the horror stories my mum and cucu gave me. But, my mum loved him, and is very sad. She wanted to take care of him when he was old, but she is also a little more traditional and he could not come and live with her in Uthoni (at the Ako in Luganda, if I'm correct; kwa shemeji). My mum will be 54 on the 30th of this month. I've been thinking about how we will take care of our parents. They are kinda separated; 'kinda' because they were not married in the civil or Christian marriage setting, yet there is no divorce in traditional marriages. I read what Maua wrote about her mum, and I feel glad that I'm not far from mine geographically. Also just finished reading this piece on NYT blog on taking care of old parents. I've pretty much made up my mind that I want to live with my mum in her golden days. She already kinda feels lonely, but that's unavoidable for now as we have to be out here making money for our own old ages; in addition, my siblings have young families to raise. It would be less than ideal for me to live with her now.

I doubt my kids will be my retirement package. Not that that's what my mum takes me to be, but I don't think retirement savings are on the minds of people her generation or slightly older.Generation is not restricted to age here. We'll talk about my father and step-mother with my siblings and half-siblings. And about my parents-in-law with the man I will marry. For myself, maybe I should just have many kids as health and old-age insurance; except I'd pay forward through the nose to finance their education, and there is no guarantee they will think about me the way I think about my parents. I would want the to be independent and follow their dreams without feeling guilty. Makes you think,eh? What do you think, exactly?